About m311owout

Too many mind.

shower thoughts

Since my showers are probably split time-wise about 75% thinking about nonsense vs. 25% bathing, the place where I most often question the existence of God is while I’m in the shower. At some point, I feel like God is going to get tired of my agnosticism and, being the spiteful God that he is, use his power to fuck with me in the shower when I am most vulnerable. Every time I close my eyes to rinse my face with water, I feel like I’m somehow at risk of opening them back up to some horrifying image or sensation, like a creepy killer suddenly appearing in the shower next to me or blood raining down out of the showerhead. That Christian brainwashing I went through as a child must’ve imprinted pretty deeply in me.


perfect fall days

the best things are always fleeting, and this perfect fall weather–sunny, highs in the 70s, the air crisp, some leaves crunchy underfoot while others set the trees to flames during golden hour–is no exception.

i would say that i wish it were like this all the time, but the transience is an integral part of the beauty; the dramatic transformation of homogenous tree lines into bright autumn mosaics is the foliage’s final farewell before death, reminding you to savor the last remnants of warmth as cold, bitter days begin their approach.

the season of skate is back!

With the weather warming after an unusually long and bitterly cold winter, I was eager to get out and find a dry spot to skate this past weekend. This loading dock was tucked away in a for-lease office building, which made it a perfect low-bust spot to work on some tricks that I eventually want to take down stairsets. This was also the first time skating a drop with these new Footprint skate insoles that are designed to absorb 90% of impact energy (you can drop a raw egg on one and it won’t crack), and I can definitely say that my feet are less sore and beat up with the new insoles.

Here’s a quick edit from the day. This is the biggest thing I’ve done a switch flip off of so far!

pre-work skate sesh

Given the spotty snows lately, I’ve had to take advantage of whatever dry times I can get and hit the skatepark so I don’t get all depressed and feeling cooped up from being inside. This morning, the temperature was in the twenties when I headed out to the park around 8:30, but that didn’t stop me from getting a small session in and I got to work on some grinds as well as practice carving the bowl. So glad I went out this morning, because as I’m writing this, it’s sleeting outside and more bad weather is expected over the next several days. Sometimes I hate living on the east coast.

Anyway, here’s some clips from today. Going to work on combining those last two tricks this year!

hip clips

Decided to post some clips of me skating the hip at North Laurel Skatepark, some from the past summer and some from the past week or so.

For those of you that aren’t familiar with skate-lingo, a “hip” is an obstacle where there are two inclined banks with the faces oriented ≈90 degrees apart and banks connected along the sides, and the idea is to transfer from one bank to the other. Just think of it like skating up one side of a pyramid then down one of the sides either to the left or right (but not over). If that doesn’t make sense, just watch the damn videos!

This first clip shows a little progression of how I work on simpler tricks then combine them into harder ones, which is pretty much the basis for all skateboarding beyond the fundamentals.

poker journal

I’ve recently starting reading Jared Tendler’s Mental Game of Poker, which focuses on a lot of common poker problems that don’t really have to do with cards or chips, but rather mental areas where you can have leaks such as motivation, confidence, and tilt. It’s more of a psychology read than a straight poker book, and in that sense it’s a lot more engaging because the principles taught are applicable to pretty much every activity that you do.


One of the more salient changes I’ve made from the advice in this book is that I’ve started writing in a journal. Most of my entries are poker-related and log my before- and after-session thoughts, my benchmarks, and what I need to work on. It’s really helpful for someone like me, who doesn’t get the opportunity to play very often, because it is a reminder of where my game is and where I need to focus my efforts in order to improve. Without that, there’s no tracking my progress and, although I feel I learn something from every session I play, I am not ingraining it into my brain and building upon that acquired knowledge.

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